Forever
by Eks
Summary: My first Dugera story. It's meant to suck so yeah.
1. Chapter 1

Forever: Part 1: Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart

He stood over the silver casket, wishing it was him and not his lover. The chilly January breeze brushed past him and the people there. The breeze made the moment for him worse. Not only the cool breeze chilled him but his own tears helped him freeze. No jacket, gloves, scarves or anything. Something was telling him that he had to be cold to show his lover that he loved him and wanted him to come back and be with him forever.  
Ryan wiped his tears away and sniffed. How could, doing what you do best lead to death? Why could nobody help him? He thought of these questions, knowing the answers. He didn't like the answers at all, but he knew them. Bam went overboard when he copied off his friend Evil Jared when he jumped off of the banana car and into the 2ft. lake. He had hit his head and broken his skull on sharp rocks on the bottom. When he didn't get up, everyone thought he was joking, except Ryan. He ran over to see him, and see if he was okay. When Ryan saw Bam unconsious, everyone rushed over to him. Someone called 911 and he was escorted to the hospital in an ambulance. Ryan knew Bam has gone overboard with stunts but he's never gotten this hurt before. Once they arrived at the Chester County Hospital, Bam was rushed into the emergency room. Ryan was left waiting in the waiting room with the other witnesses. He paced back and forth wishing for Bam to wake up. A few hours later, the doctors finally came out saying they were still checking his neck and spine, worrying Ryan to death. For what seemed like hours, Ryan walked the halls of the hospital. One time, Ryan felt that he should pass by his boyfriend's window. He walked down the hall and made a right turn into the emergency room. He didn't see anyone at the desk so he walked further, running into a nurse.

"Excuse me, do you know what room Bam Margera is in?" Ryan asked, trying not to sound too worried.  
"107." the brunette nurse replied, pointing down the hall. Ryan shook his head and walked further down the long hallway and finally found room 107. The only one in the room, surprisingly, was Bam. No doctors, or nurses, just unconsious Bam Margera. Ryan knew the hospital was shitty but not this bad. He made sure the coast was clear and opened the door, slowly. He tiptoed in as if Bam was a sleeping baby and Ryan was an older sibling, trying not to wake him up. He walked up to the bed. Bam was breathing slowly. It looked like he could stop any second, which scared Ryan.

"Hey! What are you doing in here?" a man's voice yelled, making Ryan jump. It was a doctor. "Get the fuck out!" Ryan just stood there.  
"I want to make sure he's okay." Ryan said, shakily. The doctor sighed and motioned for Ryan to sit down.

"Well, how's he doing?" Ryan asked, plopping into the blue chair next to the bed.  
"He's...BAM!" the doctor ran over to his bed side. Bam's heart beat monitor was beeping quickly. Ryan looked up and wanted to rush to Bam's side but didn't want to get in the doctor's way. The doctor got Bam's heart to beat more normal again. Ryan sighed in relief and watched the doctor sit down.

"Bam...well..." the doctor was at a loss for words.  
"What? What's gonna happen? Tell me!" Ryan was very, very anxious.  
"He...he broke his first, second, and third vertabre on his spine so...he can't breathe on his own"  
"Forever"  
"Unless he heals, then yes, forever. Unless you want us to stop giving him oxygen." Ryan looked at the doctor like he was crazy.  
"Why would I want my bo...best friend to die?" Ryan asked. The doctor shrugged.  
"Some people do it because they don't want their loved one's to suffer. I mean think about it, he is a skater. My daughter is a skater and she hates it when she has to do anything else other than skating." The doctor made a good point. "Well, Ryan, just think about it. When you make up your mind, tell me, okay?" Ryan nodded and the doctor got up and started to examine Bam. Ryan just sat there, thinking, and thinking, and thinking.

Finally, after what seemed like hours to Ryan, he came up with an answer to give the doctor.

"Um, excuse me?" Ryan said, in a barely audible whisper. The doctor turned around.  
"Have you made a choice?" he asked. Ryan nodded, tears falling down his face.  
"Turn it off. Turn the oxygen off." The doctor nodded.  
"This might be an obvious question but...do you want to stay in here and maybe hold his hand through it"  
"Well, I might need a few minutes to talk to him." Ryan knew that even though the man of his dreams was dying, that he would be able to hear Ryan. The doctor left the room and Ryan took a seat next to Bam. He took his hand and squeezed it. He let the tears fall down his face as he spoke.

"Bam, I know you can hear me. I wanted to say that I'm letting you go for a reason. That reason...is because I care about you and wouldn't want you to suffer with this, alive. I'll see you soon, baby. Oh, and one more thing, I love you and will never stop loving you." Ryan was almost bawling now. He kissed Bam softly on his lips, drenching Bam's face with tears that belonged to Ryan's eyes. He got up and signaled for the doctor to come in. Ryan walked back to his chair and sighed, knowing what was coming next.

As Ryan gripped Bam's hand, he looked up at his lover. He could've sworn that he'd seen Bam give a quick smile. But, no matter what anyone said, he felt Bam squeeze his hand back. He started to cry again. The doctor told Ryan it was time. He counted to three in his head and shut off the oxygen, killing Bam in less than 30 seconds. Ryan stood up and just collapsed to his knees, realizing that the greatest person in his world, was gone forever. 


	2. Chapter 2

Forever: Part 2: One Last Time 

Ryan woke up the next morning, oblivious at what he had done. He passed out a few seconds after he dropped to his knees in the hospital room. Ryan looked around, realizing he was at his friend's house. Castle Bam. Bam didn't pass away in his home but Ryan knew the walls were filled with Bam's spirit.

"Oh, Bam." Ryan whispered softly. He had started to recall what happened the past night, the night that was gone forever.

Ryan now stood over the casket of his best friend ever. Bam was the first one that Ryan came out to. Bam respected Ryan, while all his other friends, disrespected him, even when Ryan had the guts to come out to everyone. Bam loved Ryan no matter what.

Ryan wiped his tears away, and got back into Bam's car. He turned on the ignition and turned up the cd in the cd player. It was HIM's cd, Razorblade Romance, playing One Last Time.

_'Oh at least you could try,  
for this one last time.  
It could be alright,  
for this one last time.', it played, while Ville was singing in the background,  
background'Let me just a bit closer,  
let me fall into your arms.  
Don't let me grow any colder,  
let me close to your heart.'_

_'At least you could try for this one last time.  
It could be alright,  
for this one last time'  
background  
'Before it's all over,  
let me fall into your arms.  
Before it's all over,  
let me close to your heart.'_

_'At least you could try,  
for this one last time.  
It could be alright,  
for this one last time.'_

As the cd stopped, Ryan pulled into the Castle Bam driveway, wet from tears. He got out of the blue Hummer and went inside. Novak was sitting on the couch eating chips. He was obviously crying. Ryan went over and sat next to him.

"Hey, Novak." Ryan sniffed.  
Novak sniffed. "H-h-hey." he stuttered, in between tears. "How w-was it?"

Novak didn't go to the burial, because after going to the wake, he was crying so hard, he nearly hyperventilated.

"What do you mean, 'how was it?'? It fucking sucked!" Ryan yelled, flopping down on the couch. He suddenly burst into tears. Novak cried with him. As they cried together Gee came in. He had been crying too, since his face and eyes were red.

"No pictures." Novak said, looking up at him. Gee attempted to smile but failed. He sat down and patted Dunn on the back.

"It's a-all my f-f-fault! He could've healed! Why?" Ryan exclaimed.  
"Dude, you did the right thing. He hated being in the hospital." Gee said. Novak nodded in agreement, and lit a cigarette. Ryan lit a cigarette too and wiped his tears away. Gee went over to the computer and went to his message board.

"You fat fuck, what are you doing?" Novak asked.  
"Jeez, look at all tthe comments about Bam on here...Novak, you might want to come look at this." Gee said, clicking through the 'Bam Stuff' forum. Novak came walking in. He came up to the monitor and looked at it, tearing up.  
"Oh. My. God." he said, looking at the posts about tracking down Ryan and killing him, because of what he did.

"Lemme go to Bam's Message Board." Gee said, taking the mouse from Novak and clicking on a link. The BMMB came up. He went to the Bam section and saw the whole page filled up with threads about his friend's death.

"Look how they're going to have an anti-Ryan Dunn message board." Novak said, pointing at a post. Then he remembered something. "There's another message board, where his real fans go." Novak typed in a link and pressed 'go'. A few seconds later, the 'Bam Site' popped up.

"How could I forget about this?" Gee said. He read a post made by one of the members on the board.

'Yeah, Ryan said that the doctor should turn off the oxygen. I love Bam because he's an idol of mine and I'd never want him to die, but I would never, ever want him to suffer like he would've if he was alive. Props to Ryan for thinking about that. So, who else is going to the wake? Anyone else other than Katie and I?'

Novak and Gee were silent.  
"That Eks is a smart girl, huh?" a voice said from behind them. Novak and Gee spun around and what they saw, would be in their minds forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Forever: Part 3: Razorblade Kiss

"Bam?" Novak finally said, breaking the silence. Gee had fainted by this time, but Novak just stood there in shock. As they stared, Ryan walked in.

"Yo, what are you guys doing?" he asked. He walked up to the computer, going straight through Bam.

Novak was shocked that Dunn couldn't see Bam. "Oh, nothing, just on a message board, that's all." Novak clicked and brought them to the board index.  
"Oh, okay." Ryan replied. He walked straight through Bam, and out the door.

"How does he not see you?" Novak whispered loudly to Bam.  
"He can see me, he just doesn't want to." Bam replied, shrugging.  
"Bam, he loves you. Why wouldn't he want to see you?" "He's hating himself because of what he did but I'm happy that I'm not suffering anymore"  
"He doesn't belive that you're standing there?" Bam shook his head. "Well, Bam, go make him belive"  
"You're right, Novak," Bam said, "and while I'm doing that you should wake Shitgoose up." Novak laughed. "Oh yeah." Bam got closer to Novak. He put his arms around Novak and kissed him full on the lips. Life Partner was startled but Bam just smiled. He whispered in Novak's ear,"Thanks for beliving." and gave him a hug.

Bam walked out and sat on the couch next to Ryan. Ryan looked over at him and sighed.

'This isn't real, why do I keep seeing him?' he thought, getting up and going to Bam's room. He flopped down on the bed and hugged the pillow, smelling Bam's colonge. Bam-Bam followed Dunn and sat on the edge of the bed, sighing.

"I love you, and will never stop loving you, too." Bam said. Ryan jumped, hearing that.  
"It's not real. I don't belive in"  
"Stop saying that! It's me! I'm here right now! I'm a ghost now! Belive it!" Ryan looked up at Bam.  
"What the hell is wrong with my imagination?" Ryan yelled, running into the bathroom. Bam was pissed.  
"That's it! If you don't belive me then I guess I wasted my time trying to talk to you! If that's what you fucking want, us to be overwith forever, then fine! It'll take me awhile to forget the night we had right before I did that fucked up stunt, but I'll make sure I do! Good-fucking-bye, Ryan!" but before Bam left, he went into the bathroom and gave Ryan a kiss that he would remember forever.

The next few days for Ryan were the worst he's ever had. The only thing he had to relief himself was his razorblade coming in contact with his wrists. Novak and Raab tried to stop him but he wouldn't. Ryan was feeling guilty about killing Bam and feeling guilty about the night he came back. All he could do was cut.

"What can we do?" Novak said, lying down on the couch. "He's in a depression"  
"I think I have one last idea." Raab replied.  
"What's your idea"  
"Well, first of all...do you think we could get Ryan out of the house"  
"Erm...I can try. Why"  
"We can take him to the cemetary to see the grave." Novak looked at Raab like he was an idiot.  
"You've got to be kidding me. Do you have any idea what he's gonna do when we go there? He'll probably go crazy and then come home and commit suicide!" he said. Raab just shrugged.  
"We should just try it. If he does go crazy, we'll keep an eye on him for a few days. Okay?" he explained.  
"Fine." Novak nodded, still unsure. 


	4. Chapter 4

Forever: Part 4: Join Me In Death

The next day, Novak knocked on Ryan's bedroom door.

"What?" Ryan asked, with no expression.  
"Can I come in?" Novak said, sighing.  
"Yeah, sure."

Novak slowly opened the door and stepped in Ryan's room. It smelt of cigarette smoke, alcohol, and blood.

"What do you want?" he asked. He was sitting in the corner of his room, smoking the last cigarette in the pack.  
"We're going out, come on." Novak went over and tried to get Dunn to stand up. He wouldn't budge.  
"I'll only go if I can get more smokes and a bag of razors"  
Novak sighed again. "Fine. Come on"  
Ryan slowly stood up and put his cigarette out and changed into a CKY shirt and jeans.  
"Hurry up, before I change my mind"  
The two of them walked down the stairs and waited for Raab. Once Raab came down from his room they grabbed the keys to the blue Hummer and walked out the door. Once everyone got out of the car, they backed out of the driveway.

Once they passed the gas station where Ryan was wanting to go get razors and cigarettes, he said, "Yo, I thought we were going to the gas station." Raab looked at Novak.  
"You didn't tell him?" he whispered. Novak shook his head.  
"Would you have told him?" Raab sighed and told him 'no'.

"We have to go somewhere first, then we can go get smokes." Novak said. Ryan nodded and looked down at the ground the whole way to the cemetary.

"Oh, no..." Ryan said, looking out his window.  
"Now, Ryan please," Raab replied, "we have our reasons"  
"Yeah. Ryan, please dude, just come with us." Novak added.  
"Fine, you dicks." Ryan stepped out of the car and walked a few feet. He looked around and sighed. All of a sudden he started running. Novak gasped and ran after him, but Ry was faster.

"God damn it!" Novak said, stopping and catching his breath. "Ryan! Get back here!" Ryan just kept running. He ran and ran and ran until he could barely catch his breath. He stopped at the edge of the graveyard and looked at the gate he had to climb.

"Ryan, no!" Ryan turned around slowly.  
"Bam?" he asked, knowing the answer. He nodded and ran to Ryan, embracing him. Ryan wrapped his arms around his lover and kissed him on the forehead.

"Bam, I'm sorry. I love you"  
"I love you, too, Ryan. I've missed you so much." Bam replied.  
"Same here, baby. Same here." Bam pulled away and looked Ryan in the eyes.  
"Then why don't you join me"  
"In death?" He nodded and kissed Ryan on the lips.  
"I want you to come with me to heaven"  
"I will"  
"Just like that"  
"Yeah...after this, I wouldn't be able to live another day without you." Ryan said, smiling for the first time in days.  
"Okay." Bam grinned and snapped his fingers. Ryan's body fell to the ground and his spirit rose up towards the sky with Bam. The floated up to heaven, where they would be together, forever.

THE END 


End file.
